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Everyone has self-esteem. The point is that far too many people do not have positive self-esteem. A positive self-esteem is an important component to in achieving a balanced life, for people and for those around them. Yet countless numbers of people go through life never truly living but rather merely existing from day to day. This is due, in a large part, to how people see themselves and their place in the world around them.
A positive, as well as a negative self image just doesn’t happen. The seeds are sown in the early years in many small and seemingly indistinguishable ways that have a far-reaching affect and impact on people’s lives. It first begins with messages from their parents. If they are consistently positive and affirming in nature, the children’s concepts of themselves will correspondently be positive. If the messages are mixed, told on one hand that they are loved, yet on the other hand told in many subtle and not so subtle ways that they are not good enough and fall short of their parents’ expectations, they end up internalizing negative self-esteem. After all if parents who say they love them see them as a disappointment in many ways, this is difficult to dispute by their dependent children.
As the children become adults, they don’t need the originators of the negative messages. They reinforce those messages themselves through continuous negative self-talk. They, as a matter of rote, feed their head as if it were a computer. You know the old saying when it comes to computers. “Junk in, junk out.” The same goes for the brain if it constantly feed negative messages such as “You’re not good enough.” “You’re stupid.” The messages eventually become part of one’s self esteem, coloring how they see themselves and how they see themselves.
However, though people may be programmed to have a negative self-image, anyone can reprogram themselves to have more realistic, positive self- esteem. People fail to realize that the brain merely reinforces beliefs that are feed into the brains by messages given to it. In order to reverse this false self- concept, there are a number of things that may need to come into play.
Being aware of and replacing negative self-talk with positive self- talk is a good beginning. People will be surprise how often during the course of the day that they engage in negative self-talk. Attempting to resist such negative self-talk has not proved successful. The more the person resists, the more they persist. Instead of struggling with those negative thoughts, merely redirect the thoughts to positive affirmations that have been pre-developed. Trying to think of something positive in the troughs of negative
self-talk, is extremely difficult. People need to be prepared beforehand, so that once the negative self-talk begins, the more positive thoughts will be easier to come forth. Repetition is the key. Learning a new way of thinking about oneself won’t be easy. Practice makes perfect. As people begin to think of themselves in consistently different ways, slowly by surely the brain buys into it and the self-esteem improves.
Behavioral changes that are consistently positive, act as building blocks to enhance positive self-esteem. In initiating behavioral changes that bring forth small successes, people slowly develop positive self-esteem that will hold them in good stead in life.
The reader may see this as easier said than done. However, counseling, such as that provided by the Life Source Center, can assist people in achieving a positive self esteem and effective problem solving strategies that will result in an improved quality of life. It can also be a way of assisting in resolving self-defeating thought and behavior patterns and enhancing the way people see themselves. .
For persons wishing to learn to more effectively deal with anxiety, depression and stress, thereby enhancing one’s self esteem and quality of life, one can purchase the workbook or CD, entitled, “The Road Map to a More Effective Life” …taking the mystery out of change and developing the necessary strategies to effectively improve the quality of your life. The price is $15.95, plus $5.00 for shipping and handling. Merely mail your check, along with your return address to the
Life Source Center, 45 Arrowleaf Court, Cheshire, CT 06410.
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